


Mom And Dad No!

by imabignerd, kate882



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-20
Updated: 2015-12-20
Packaged: 2018-05-07 18:44:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5467100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imabignerd/pseuds/imabignerd, https://archiveofourown.org/users/kate882/pseuds/kate882
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Suga and Daichi find out about the team calling them Mom and Dad behind their backs in an unfortunate way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mom And Dad No!

The locker room went quiet as Suga took off his shirt and he looked around before noticing what they were staring at and blushed bright red. The blush only got darker as everyone’s gaze shifted to Daichi.

In two wide strides, Daichi crossed the room and tossed his jacket over Suga’s head to cover the hickies littering his neck, before glaring around the room defensively. “I better see you all in the gym within the next two minutes, or there will be doubled laps,” he snapped. It might’ve been mildly terrifying in any other context, but the way his ears burned scarlet definitely detracted from the intended effect.

“Mom and dad have sex.” Hinata whispered, staring at them with wide eyes. Under normal circumstances, he would have spoken quietly enough to not be heard over the chatter of the locker room, but the room was still dead quiet, so it came out quite clearly. And then Tanaka started laughing. And Nishinoya wolf whistled.

And with that, the room erupted into chaos.

Amidst the sudden yelling (“Dumbass Hinata, you don’t just say things like that, dumbass, _you dumbass_ -” Kageyama was screeching over Asahi’s mortified, “Daichi, Suga, _why?_ ”, and Daichi was pretty sure Tsukishima would have long since made his escape if Yamaguchi hadn’t apparently turned into solid stone in front of the club room doors), Daichi grimaced, setting a hand protectively over Suga’s shoulder. And when Nishinoya slammed a hand - _hard_ \- against Daichi’s back in a congratulatory slap, accompanied by a suggestive eyebrow wiggle, he had had enough.

“ _Out!_ If you’re changed and ready, get _OUT!”_

They all scrambled to finish dressing and rush out, Tanaka putting on shorts as he ran out the door at the loud command, Tsukishima forcibly pushing Yamaguchi to get him out of the way.

“Sorry.” Suga said sheepishly as they cleared out; the jacket had settled around his shoulders,still covering most of the marks. “I forgot those were there.”

Daichi sighed, before smiling wearily at Suga. “They probably would’ve found out eventually,” he said, ruffling the other’s hair fondly. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Hinata called us mom and dad.” Suga said, still sounding a little dazed by what had just happened. “None of them thought that was weird.”

Daichi groaned audibly, burying his face in his hands. He’d been too preoccupied - what with the yelling and the general pandemonium of it all - but now that Suga brought it up … “Who even came up with that? _Why?”_

“It's the first I'm hearing of it. But I don't want to be a teen mom, Daichi. I'm not ready for that kind of responsibility.”

He choked, caught in an awkward in-between of a laugh and a scandalized gasp. _“Suga,”_ Daichi intoned, exasperated, before offering him a resigned shrug. “Tough luck, looks like you’ve got a whole team of children now.”

“Why are they only my children when they cause trouble? I thought this was supposed to be a team effort. Hinata said mom and dad.” Suga giggled, handing Daichi his jacket and starting to finish changing.

“Oh no, I am not taking responsibility for that group of nightmares. They’ll take twenty years off my life, I know it.” Daichi paused, before amending, “Actually, they probably already have.”

“What, so _I’m_ supposed to die early because of them by myself?” Suga asked, arching an eyebrow at Daichi.

Daichi snorted, bumping his shoulder against Suga’s. “No, I suppose I’d rather you not do that,” he mused. “Hey, you think we can get Asahi to take on the role of team parent instead?”

“I don’t think so since we didn’t exactly enroll ourselves in that role either. They just picked us.” Suga said. “I also just don’t trust Asahi as a parent to the children since Noya would be the co-parent.”

Crossing his arms and leaning against the lockers, Daichi looked up at the ceiling in mock contemplativeness. “Oh I don’t know, I feel like Noya could pull off being one of those over-enthusiastic soccer moms, you know?”

“I’m not sure that they are the people I would entrust my kids to.” Suga replied.

“Don’t tell Noya that,” Daichi warned, laughing. He pushed himself off the lockers and stretched before shooting Suga a grin. “Alright _mom,_ you done changing? We need to make sure the children aren’t tearing the gym apart.”

“Why do I have to be mom? I can't even reply to you calling me that because calling you dad is too close to calling you daddy and I'm not doing that.” Suga complained.

 _Oh,_ if that didn’t make all the hairs on the back of Daichi’s neck stand on end. “Please don’t,” he said flatly. “You’re still the mom though, ‘cause hey,” he raised his hands defensively, “you said it first, not me.”

“Can we just not be their parents? Don’t they all have their own parents that they go home to?”

“That’s one proposition I can get behind,” Daichi snorted. “I call not being the one to break it to them.”

“Too bad. You got to be the father so you get to tell them.” Suga replied.

“Oi!” Daichi said, indignant. He shoved at Suga’s shoulder to show his ire, though he shot him an easy grin to lighten the effect. “I thought we were deciding to tell them we’re resigning from being their parents?”

“Yes, so while we are still their parents, you are in charge of breaking their hearts. By telling them that we are resigning.”

Deciding Suga was definitely done changing at this point - he’d spent the last bit rummaging in his locker for who knows what - Daichi rounded around to rest his chin on Suga’s shoulder, draping himself over the other. “C’mon, at least share the responsibility,” he implored.

“I don’t want to. You’re the captain. Take your own responsibility.” Suga replied.

“And you’re the vice captain,” Daichi countered immediately.

“So? You still have the main responsibility as captain.”

“ _Main_ responsibility.” Daichi cocked an eyebrow, though he was well aware that Suga wouldn’t be able to see it in their position. “That implies that you still have some of the responsibility.”

“Yes. And I will uphold that responsibility by being there with you when you tell them that we are not their parents.” Suga replied, laughing lightly.

Daichi groaned as he circled his arms around Suga’s waist, pressing his face against the soft fabric of Suga’s shirt. “Sugaaaaaa.”

“I’ll let you come over tonight if you tell them.” Suga offered.

He perked up immediately at that. _Well played, Suga. Well played._ “Deal,” Daichi agreed easily, pulling away. He cocked his head pointedly towards the door. “Let’s do this, then.”

Suga laughed at how easy it had been and headed for the door. He couldn't even say he was honestly surprised when he found the entire team crowded around it.

The same probably couldn’t be said for Daichi, who cursed when he collided against Suga’s back. “Wha -” he started, a mildly indignant note to his voice, but then he glanced down. “Oh.”

Noya grinned widely back at him, and Tanaka offered a small wave.

“You don’t want to be our mom and dad anymore?” Hinata asked them with wide eyes that looked almost on the verge of tears.

 _Not after this shitshow, I don’t,_ was Daichi’s immediate thought, but in the interest of maintaining his reputation he quashed the temptation to smile awkwardly at Hinata instead. “I mean, we’re not exactly - uh - we’re not really your parents, anyways.”

“What do you mean you aren’t our parents?” Hinata exclaimed, looking betrayed. “Team mom and team dad!” Yamaguchi nodded in agreement.

“Can’t we just be, you know,” Daichi glanced helplessly at Suga, who beamed back at him in the most useless possible way, “team captain and vice-captain instead?”

“No way. You’re mom and dad.” Noya said, shit eating grin still firmly in place.

“I just -- no.” Daichi cleared his throat and tried for a stricter tone. _“No.”_

“But _Dad_ . . .” Tanaka whined from next to Noya.

“ _NO_.” Daichi glared hard at the team that was still collected in an awkward half-pile around the clubroom door (Kageyama was still squatting from where he was evidently pressed against the door, perched in an awkward crouch under Hinata’s weight). “Now get back to the gym, _or so help me_ \--”

“You’ll ground us?” Noya asked, barely keeping in his laughter.

Suga let out a small snort of amusement at that, covering his mouth with his hand.

Noya stood up on his tiptoes to whisper something in Asahi’s ear. “I am _not_ calling him Dadchi. He might kill me,” Asahi whispered back, but he wasn’t as good at whispering.

At this point, Suga broke out into full-out peals of laughter, and Daichi felt his ears burn.

“Nishinoya,” Daichi intoned, chilly and with what was definitely a mildly murderous note, “you have doubled sets of ab training and laps. And I _will_ be watching.” He crossed his arms and smiled, lips thin and tight together. “If the rest of you don’t get back to the gym now, you can expect the same.”

Everyone paled a bit and scrambled to get into the gym. “Dad doesn’t love us anymore.” Someone that sounded distinctly like Hinata whined.

“I think you just grounded them.” Suga said between laughs.  

Daichi groaned and rubbed at his face tiredly. “Not you too,” he groused, a key plaintive.

“But it’s okay when I do it because I also do this.” He leaned up and pecked Daichi on the lips.

Daichi let the corners of his lips curl upwards under the light kiss. “I’m not too sure about the soundness of your logic, because I’m not sure how okay I’d be with it if anyone else on the team tried that,” he said, chuckling as Suga pulled away. He grinned, wide and teasing, before leaning in again to quickly brush their lips together. “But, I’ll take it.”


End file.
